#66 - 3000 Miles to Graceland

[00:00:01] Welcome to Properly Howard, a podcast that reviews classic films and other Pulp Fiction.

[00:00:25] Today we take a look at the 2001 bombast 3000 Miles to Graceland.

[00:00:31] Directed by someone, this action piece takes A-list actors, gives them B-movie dialogue, and an F-grade performance.

[00:00:39] This movie is everything and nothing all at once. With me as always is Dr. Anthony LaDog.

[00:00:46] I would have liked to see more Elvis impressions in this film.

[00:00:50] There were very few.

[00:00:52] I mean, there was the farty guy, right? So he did it.

[00:00:56] You had the performance of not a great Elvis impersonator.

[00:01:01] Like during the casino heist, there's an actual performance happening.

[00:01:06] I didn't think that that was great.

[00:01:08] At one point you do get to see Russell do the Elvis voice, right?

[00:01:13] Oh dude, the ending, the end? Did you say for the whole credits?

[00:01:18] No, I did not.

[00:01:19] You didn't do the music video with Kurt Russell as Elvis and then they're all dancing in it?

[00:01:25] No, no I did not.

[00:01:27] Are you kidding me? Go back and watch it.

[00:01:29] Dude, it's the best. I'm gonna watch it right now.

[00:01:33] Steve, what is your relationship with CGI scorpions?

[00:01:38] It was lacking up until last night.

[00:01:45] It comes right at the gate with some serious CGI scorpions fighting.

[00:01:53] What's crazy to me is this movie comes out in 2001.

[00:02:01] Is there a year that would justify it?

[00:02:05] Sure.

[00:02:07] I would say 92.

[00:02:11] You think that the CGI effects would have been more at home in 92?

[00:02:17] I would at least say the novelty of a CGI anything of that nature would have gone hand in hand with like the time when we were introduced to Lawnmower Man, the movie, right?

[00:02:31] I mean like there's no reason in 2001 to be like, dude, check this out.

[00:02:40] They're so proud of it.

[00:02:43] It gets a full treatment like right out the gate.

[00:02:47] They're metallic.

[00:02:48] I guess they're metallic scorpions that bleed real blood.

[00:02:53] Yeah, they really fight.

[00:02:55] They fight to rock and roll music.

[00:02:57] They sure do.

[00:03:00] They do that.

[00:03:02] I mean, you want to talk about a tone setter for a film.

[00:03:07] I don't know that there's been many directors that have telegraphed right out the gate.

[00:03:12] This is what you're going to watch.

[00:03:15] Okay, I've got two questions about the director.

[00:03:17] Maybe you can help me with.

[00:03:19] What's his name again?

[00:03:21] I could look at it and I couldn't tell you.

[00:03:25] I'm going to look it up because I feel like he needs credit.

[00:03:28] I'm remembering it as like Dramian's like Rickenbacker.

[00:03:33] I know that's not anything close.

[00:03:36] 3,000 Miles to Graceland.

[00:03:38] This is how much research I've done for this film.

[00:03:41] It's written and directed by Damian Lichtenstein.

[00:03:46] I wasn't that far off.

[00:03:49] So Dramian Rickenbacker I think is close enough.

[00:03:53] Okay, so my second question is...

[00:03:56] Why?

[00:03:57] Was he in sixth grade when he wrote this?

[00:04:01] It's so funny.

[00:04:03] Was this a school project?

[00:04:05] It's like a guy that gets photoshopped like two decades later and all he can do is kind of like clip a head and so there's a square head on a different person's body and he's like, did you see that dude?

[00:04:18] Let me show you what I can do.

[00:04:20] Yeah, no this definitely had the feel of a school project.

[00:04:25] What I love is that this isn't in the dailies, right?

[00:04:27] So they don't...

[00:04:28] It's probably not even in the script.

[00:04:29] So all these actors, all these A-list actors are going to the premiere and this is the first thing they see in the movie that they were just in.

[00:04:38] They're like, oh wait.

[00:04:41] I love the idea that Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner went to the premiere and had to walk out of this movie and be like, well, it was a lot of fun.

[00:04:53] I was doing that?

[00:04:54] No, I said those words.

[00:04:56] For sure I said those words.

[00:04:58] I don't remember any of this.

[00:05:00] Right.

[00:05:01] Because I mean there's Damien Lichtenstein out Zack Snyder's Zack Snyder when it comes to slow motion for no reason.

[00:05:11] Oh, I think that he might have invented Zack Snyder.

[00:05:15] I mean the idea that you're just like...

[00:05:17] I love it's like...

[00:05:18] It's one thing to like walk through a casino in slow motion, which I don't think they did.

[00:05:23] But when you're driving up to a hotel and there's no...

[00:05:26] There's nothing.

[00:05:27] Like there's no element of suspense or tension in that scene.

[00:05:31] It's just...

[00:05:31] He's just getting there slower.

[00:05:35] That's a choice.

[00:05:37] I'm just going to tell you three things that happened in this movie.

[00:05:41] Please, because I remember a few, but I don't know that I could put them in any time.

[00:05:44] I'm not making any of these things up.

[00:05:46] I'm not going to make any of these things up.

[00:05:50] There was a...

[00:05:51] Like we already mentioned, CGI...

[00:05:54] Scorpions.

[00:05:54] CGI scorpions.

[00:05:56] Metallic scorpions that fight to rock and roll music.

[00:06:00] Then we find out later that they're just regular scorpions.

[00:06:05] There's a guy dressed like Elvis, roller skating through a casino that gets punched in the nose.

[00:06:14] That happened.

[00:06:16] Well...

[00:06:18] Are you going to mention the tiny Elvis that gets knocked over?

[00:06:22] I...

[00:06:23] He...

[00:06:23] You know, he was just another casualty in the casino shootout.

[00:06:28] Kind of lucky that he wasn't regular size because I mean, he might have taken a stray.

[00:06:34] Uh...

[00:06:35] Then this happened.

[00:06:37] Hey, Franklin.

[00:06:38] Yeah.

[00:06:42] Stop.

[00:06:43] You're killing me, man.

[00:06:44] You're killing me.

[00:06:47] You got a white Elvis dancing like Elvis performing for a black Elvis.

[00:06:53] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:55] Completely punctuated by flatulence.

[00:06:59] And, uh...

[00:07:00] And the black Elvis just says, you're killing me, man.

[00:07:03] You're killing me.

[00:07:03] So that happened in this film as well.

[00:07:06] There is...

[00:07:07] There is a lot that happens in this movie.

[00:07:09] And, uh...

[00:07:10] And I'm...

[00:07:11] I'll be honest, man.

[00:07:12] I'm here for every bit of it.

[00:07:13] I like that the U.S. Marshals show up to the crime scene.

[00:07:17] They say, are you U.S. Marshals?

[00:07:21] And, um...

[00:07:23] And he just flashes his big gun and says, if I wasn't, why would I have one of these?

[00:07:28] Right.

[00:07:29] It's like a simple yes would have been fine, bro.

[00:07:32] Like, is that going to work in any crime scene in America?

[00:07:35] Oh, your gun seems to be very big.

[00:07:37] Yes.

[00:07:38] Please take over the crime scene.

[00:07:39] Well, it's also like...

[00:07:41] It's a pretty reasonable question, right?

[00:07:43] Like, they're expecting the U.S. Marshals to show up.

[00:07:46] And so here come who they assume they are and they just try to clarify.

[00:07:49] And then he gives them like a snide response.

[00:07:52] It's like, why?

[00:07:53] Why are you such a dick?

[00:07:57] So we chose this movie for Kevin Pollack.

[00:07:59] I do want to talk about a little bit about Kevin Pollack.

[00:08:02] We should highlight, yes.

[00:08:03] He's probably...

[00:08:04] I mean, he's...

[00:08:05] Kevin Pollack is one of those guys where I don't know that I've ever disliked him in something.

[00:08:09] No, even in this movie, it's like, oh yeah, you're Kevin Pollack.

[00:08:13] You're a pretty likable guy.

[00:08:14] Now, my question about Kevin Pollack is, did he know he was in this movie?

[00:08:20] Because he takes a different tone than anyone else in the movie.

[00:08:24] Well, he plays it like he's a character actor in a movie that might actually be decent.

[00:08:29] I guess that's a good question.

[00:08:31] Like, it seems like both Russell and Costner have found the tone that they're going for.

[00:08:41] Yeah.

[00:08:42] They're good.

[00:08:43] And they're really like leaning into it.

[00:08:47] Everyone's really leaning into this movie, which, you know, props for that.

[00:08:52] Kevin Pollack is actually good.

[00:08:56] And it makes the movie worse.

[00:08:58] Right.

[00:09:00] He sort of stands out.

[00:09:01] Because there's a moment where I'm like, oh, is this the movie police?

[00:09:05] Like, maybe the movie police are going to come in and arrest the movie.

[00:09:10] Maybe it's super meta, right?

[00:09:11] Like, Kevin Pollack is here on behalf of Hollywood to try and stop this.

[00:09:18] Yeah.

[00:09:19] So, at one point he says, all right, so yeah, he's Kevin Pollack, so he's good.

[00:09:23] We like him.

[00:09:25] Do you buy that he headbutted anyone?

[00:09:28] Like, has Kevin Pollack, has it ever occurred to him to headbutt anyone in his life?

[00:09:32] At one point he's got a band-aid on his boy.

[00:09:36] Right.

[00:09:36] Very small band-aid, by the way.

[00:09:37] Very small band-aid.

[00:09:39] And he says, why do they call it headbutting?

[00:09:42] It's not like my head went into that guy's butt.

[00:09:45] Right.

[00:09:46] I know.

[00:09:46] That's a real thing.

[00:09:48] It's sort of just implying, no, this guy actually headbutt some other police officer, I suppose.

[00:09:55] Not really buying Kevin Pollack as a badass.

[00:09:59] No.

[00:10:00] Well, I mean, I think I buy him as a guy that might have headbutted enough to get a tiny band-aid.

[00:10:08] No, I think he bonked his head.

[00:10:10] I buy Kevin Pollack as a guy who bonked his head.

[00:10:13] I'm going to accept him as someone who bonked his head and then had to come off tough for roller skating Elvis.

[00:10:21] Okay.

[00:10:21] That makes more sense.

[00:10:23] So he was on roller skates.

[00:10:26] He may have cut himself shaving.

[00:10:30] I buy him as, like, why didn't they put one of the cops on roller skates?

[00:10:33] I would have liked that.

[00:10:35] If you got an Elvis on roller skates.

[00:10:37] I think more roller skates makes a huge difference in this whole thing.

[00:10:39] If everybody's on roller skates, skating up this, it's another case of the skating Elvis's.

[00:10:47] Okay.

[00:10:48] So that's why you chose this movie, Kevin Pollack, who's in A Few Good Men.

[00:10:52] And very good in A Few Good Men.

[00:10:54] Very good in most movies that he's in.

[00:10:58] I would say is good in this movie for the most part in a way that was impossible to lift the movie.

[00:11:06] It's like every scene that he's in, I'm like, I like you.

[00:11:09] I'd like to see you in a different movie.

[00:11:11] That's how much I like you.

[00:11:15] You're an Elvis fan.

[00:11:17] I like Elvis, yeah.

[00:11:18] I like Elvis movies.

[00:11:19] You like Elvis movies?

[00:11:21] I think you like the mystique of Elvis.

[00:11:24] If I was going to like, you know, the old Tarantino question, Beatles or Elvis, you would say Elvis.

[00:11:30] Yeah, I'm more Elvis than Beatles for sure.

[00:11:34] Okay, so I'm certainly a Beatles over Elvis guy.

[00:11:38] In this movie, it's kind of...

[00:11:40] Because I'm American, and these colors don't run.

[00:11:44] Yeah, no, I get that.

[00:11:45] You definitely give off American Patriot more than anyone else.

[00:11:50] We have the same middle name.

[00:11:52] Really?

[00:11:53] Yeah.

[00:11:54] Huh, I didn't know that.

[00:11:55] His middle name was Aaron?

[00:11:57] Aaron?

[00:11:57] Yeah, and I'm not entirely sure, but I think that's why I have the middle name Aaron.

[00:12:03] Because of Elvis.

[00:12:05] Very good.

[00:12:06] Very good.

[00:12:07] I did not know that about you, and I'm happy to know that about you.

[00:12:12] In this movie, Elvis is not set against the Beatles.

[00:12:15] Elvis is set against Frank Sinatra.

[00:12:18] Let's be a lady!

[00:12:35] There's a couple scenes in this film where it's like really called out.

[00:12:39] One is when...

[00:12:42] They specifically say it.

[00:12:44] Well, one is when they reenact...

[00:12:48] You know, Mr. Flatulence, played by David Arquette.

[00:12:58] Acts out a scene in the back of a car where Sinatra is going to fight Elvis.

[00:13:05] Elvis.

[00:13:06] And everyone in the backseat is really into this.

[00:13:10] Like they're just...

[00:13:12] Very into it.

[00:13:12] Whooping it up.

[00:13:14] Yeah.

[00:13:15] And it culminates with Elvis goes down, Elvis goes down.

[00:13:19] By the way, the level of authenticity that Woodbine and Slater put into this scene is actually maybe two degrees less believable than the animated Scorpions we had just seen.

[00:13:36] Well, Woodbine at one point, you know, when he's dancing with the Flatulence, says, you're killing me, man.

[00:13:42] You're killing me.

[00:13:43] And I think that's his attempt to be like, yeah, I guess this is what I have to say.

[00:13:50] Right.

[00:13:50] Just to kind of make this end.

[00:13:55] The movie.

[00:13:57] So, all right.

[00:13:59] But, you know, literary foreshadowing.

[00:14:02] He does get killed in the end.

[00:14:05] Now, Costner is so aggressively pro-Elvis that he cannot take the idea of even an imaginary Elvis losing in a fight to Frank Sinatra.

[00:14:20] He stops the car.

[00:14:22] He's very menacing.

[00:14:23] It's almost like he thought, take it back before I kill you.

[00:14:27] Yeah, yeah.

[00:14:27] That was the vibe that was coming off of Kevin Costner.

[00:14:31] And what it does for the film is it reminds us that Kevin Costner is a really big Elvis fan.

[00:14:36] If the sideburns didn't reveal that already.

[00:14:42] So, you're not that big of an Elvis fan, right?

[00:14:44] No one is.

[00:14:50] All right.

[00:14:51] So, Kevin Costner, it is revealed.

[00:14:54] So, spoilers if you haven't seen 3,000 Miles of Graceland.

[00:15:00] Yeah, pause this.

[00:15:03] Pause this.

[00:15:03] Don't go watch the movie.

[00:15:05] Please don't do that.

[00:15:06] Don't subject your loved ones to this movie.

[00:15:09] He's the biological son of Elvis, right?

[00:15:12] That's the implication, yeah.

[00:15:14] That's the implication.

[00:15:15] Now, here's my other question.

[00:15:16] Are we to infer Kurt Russell is also the biological son of Elvis?

[00:15:22] That he's the other one of the two?

[00:15:25] Well, there's that little hint, right?

[00:15:28] So, there's what?

[00:15:28] Like, there's 74 people who file a suit, you know, to get some kind of inheritance from Elvis.

[00:15:36] Because you've got to imagine he was, you know, he was touring the world and he was sowing his seed all over this great nation.

[00:15:45] All right?

[00:15:47] So, I mean, that premise really works.

[00:15:49] Like, I could buy that.

[00:15:51] It turns out that a lot of these people were discredited.

[00:15:56] They did the DNA test.

[00:15:57] They were not the biological son of Elvis.

[00:16:01] Maybe he's just practicing safe sex wherever he goes.

[00:16:05] Perhaps.

[00:16:06] But what Pollock and what Hayden, Thomas Hayden Christensen?

[00:16:13] Is that how you say his name?

[00:16:14] Thomas Hayden Church.

[00:16:15] Okay.

[00:16:16] Thomas Hayden Church.

[00:16:20] I combined him with Anakin Skywalker.

[00:16:23] Yeah.

[00:16:24] Yeah.

[00:16:25] That'd be amazing.

[00:16:28] They're like animals.

[00:16:29] And I slaughtered them like animals.

[00:16:33] I hate them.

[00:16:38] I would love the idea of Thomas Hayden Church playing Anakin Skywalker.

[00:16:43] Okay.

[00:16:43] So, what he does.

[00:16:45] I killed them all.

[00:16:47] Even the women and children.

[00:16:50] I hate sand.

[00:16:55] That'd be quite a character study.

[00:16:58] If Sandman hates sand.

[00:17:01] Well, maybe that's why, right?

[00:17:03] Because he grew up on the sand planet.

[00:17:05] He just hates himself.

[00:17:06] It's a self-loathing that is really, that's what makes him so villainous.

[00:17:10] So, Thomas Hayden Church implies that Kevin Costner's character, Murphy, is the actual biological son of Elvis.

[00:17:23] But in that conversation, it's two people, right?

[00:17:26] It's not just he's the only one out of the 74.

[00:17:29] There are two.

[00:17:32] I'm suggesting that the second one is Russell.

[00:17:37] He's on the boat.

[00:17:39] He says, my father left this to me.

[00:17:42] I never knew him.

[00:17:44] And while he's doing that, he's holding a gold record.

[00:17:48] It's true.

[00:17:50] So, are these two Elvis spawns set against each other in this film?

[00:17:57] It doesn't matter.

[00:18:02] I'm grasping for anything.

[00:18:04] Don't take this from me, Steve.

[00:18:07] I mean, sure.

[00:18:08] I mean, that is, you know, an element.

[00:18:12] Like, that's like a little nugget to take away from it.

[00:18:16] But it's sort of like, okay.

[00:18:19] Like, the whole movie is kind of like, like, if you really want to break it down, there's a lot of stuff going on.

[00:18:24] And you could ask almost after every single moment, so what?

[00:18:29] Right?

[00:18:29] I mean, like.

[00:18:30] Okay.

[00:18:30] So, here's the next question.

[00:18:32] If Russell is indeed Elvis spawn.

[00:18:35] If you are biologically related to Elvis, does that immediately make you just catnip to women?

[00:18:43] Because I'm trying to figure out what Courtney Cox's deal is in this film.

[00:18:49] Here's the thing that's funny about this movie is, I mean, there's a lot of things, but like, I'm giving this movie, like, for some reason, so much benefit of the doubt as I'm watching it.

[00:18:57] Like, oh, I think we're going to find out a little something about, you know, Courtney Cox's character.

[00:19:02] Like, maybe she's playing this role or that.

[00:19:05] She's got some other, like, like, I'm trying to figure out, like, what her real motivation is, because everything up to this point is just absurd.

[00:19:14] So, I'm like, well, it's not going to just be absurd for absurdity's sake.

[00:19:16] And it's, oh, no, it's for sure it is.

[00:19:19] It's just, there is no, like, other, like, there's no other shoe that's going to drop.

[00:19:23] I mean, like, everything about this movie is like, this is what it is.

[00:19:27] Like, it is unabashedly that.

[00:19:30] It is.

[00:19:30] Here it is.

[00:19:31] It's, it's, there's going to be scorpions.

[00:19:34] And, and we'll do a callback to them for, like, to the point where you're like, oh, that's right.

[00:19:38] That was this movie.

[00:19:42] That wasn't in The Last Starfighter?

[00:19:44] Exactly.

[00:19:44] I know.

[00:19:45] I'm like, wait, I thought that was the cartoon before the movie started.

[00:19:47] Um, it's, like, it is so, I don't even, it's a hard, it's a hard one to, yeah.

[00:19:57] I feel you.

[00:19:58] I, I can sense the ineffability of your experience of this movie, because I felt the same.

[00:20:04] It's amazing because it's like, it's, there's so much happening all the time, yet it is still somehow inert.

[00:20:22] Uh, is this movie racist?

[00:20:25] It could be.

[00:20:25] I'm just, I'm going to frame it like this.

[00:20:27] I think this movie is racist.

[00:20:29] Here's my take on that.

[00:20:32] All right, so you got a black Elvis.

[00:20:33] That's, you know, you think, why not?

[00:20:35] Seems progressive.

[00:20:38] Um, they name him Franklin.

[00:20:41] Ah!

[00:20:42] Like, like, like, from the Peanuts?

[00:20:44] Yes!

[00:20:46] I'm saying, like, this guy, uh.

[00:20:49] You feel he was, he was named after the, the, the only black Peanuts character and not like Ben Franklin, is what you're saying.

[00:20:55] That's my suggestion.

[00:20:56] Uh, secondly, that guy gets killed pretty quickly.

[00:21:01] True.

[00:21:02] And then, you know, it's like, oh, geez, that, that's the trope I don't like, you know?

[00:21:07] Right.

[00:21:08] Um, like, the one black guy in the, the group gets killed off.

[00:21:12] Uh.

[00:21:12] Well, there's another one that's on roller skates.

[00:21:15] Does that help at all?

[00:21:16] A guy, then you got a guy on roller skates that really does get destroyed.

[00:21:21] Like, he, his nose is just decimated.

[00:21:25] Yeah.

[00:21:26] All right.

[00:21:27] So.

[00:21:27] They really want us to know that, too.

[00:21:29] They just don't want black Elvis impersonators ever.

[00:21:33] And this is the message that is being conveyed.

[00:21:37] And then later on, it's like, okay, uh, iced tea.

[00:21:41] All right, I forgot, I, I, I, I forgot iced tea was gonna be in this.

[00:21:45] Dude.

[00:21:45] I'm just gonna play you this scene, Steve.

[00:21:50] You wanted firepower?

[00:21:52] I give you Hamilton.

[00:21:58] I told you to bring a couple of guys, Jack.

[00:22:00] A couple of guys.

[00:22:02] Trust me.

[00:22:03] He is a couple of guys.

[00:22:05] Who's a kid?

[00:22:07] Well, in the first place, he ain't no kid.

[00:22:10] He's four and a half feet of money.

[00:22:13] Like him already.

[00:22:15] Make sure you keep him breathing until the money's in my hands.

[00:22:18] You hungry?

[00:22:20] Want a sandwich?

[00:22:22] No.

[00:22:22] Come on, kid.

[00:22:25] Even tough guys gotta eat.

[00:22:32] Want a jelly sandwich?

[00:22:35] Yeah.

[00:22:45] So iced tea enters the picture.

[00:22:47] He's a badass.

[00:22:48] I mean, he, he's presented, uh, he, number one, he's Hamilton, right?

[00:22:54] So.

[00:22:54] Yeah.

[00:22:55] Maybe, maybe Woodbine is named after Benjamin Franklin.

[00:22:59] Because the, the, the black guys are named after money.

[00:23:05] Yeah.

[00:23:05] Maybe that's it.

[00:23:07] Uh, all right.

[00:23:07] So.

[00:23:09] He's a badass.

[00:23:10] And I mean, look.

[00:23:11] He.

[00:23:12] Well, the way he, the way he comes upside down.

[00:23:15] Well, he, he's, you know, he's iced tea.

[00:23:18] He does.

[00:23:19] It's a couple guys.

[00:23:19] He, he does form his body into an upside down tea.

[00:23:23] Yes.

[00:23:24] When he wants to spin through the air with two machine guns.

[00:23:30] Right?

[00:23:31] So.

[00:23:31] Yeah.

[00:23:31] Seems a little vulnerable.

[00:23:33] Yeah.

[00:23:34] So, I mean, I, I, look, you can do that.

[00:23:37] Yeah.

[00:23:37] You're, you're, you're, you're two guys worth of firepower for sure.

[00:23:41] Then they kill iced tea.

[00:23:43] They kill Hamilton.

[00:23:44] And at that point I'm thinking all doubt has been removed.

[00:23:48] This film does not like black people.

[00:23:51] I don't think the film likes anybody.

[00:23:56] All right.

[00:23:57] I only have one more thing to say about this film.

[00:23:59] This may be our shortest podcast ever.

[00:24:00] No way.

[00:24:01] Are you kidding me?

[00:24:01] I feel like we're just basically, we're just, we're barely picking at this scab.

[00:24:09] All right.

[00:24:09] Let me throw this at you.

[00:24:11] My one tweak for this movie is going to change the entire film.

[00:24:17] You're going to remove Costner and Russell.

[00:24:20] Okay.

[00:24:21] Okay.

[00:24:24] Just emphasize the scorpions.

[00:24:26] Well, here's what you're going to, you're going to turn this movie into face off.

[00:24:29] Basically.

[00:24:29] You're going to put Nick Cage in the Costner role.

[00:24:32] This is a totally a Nick Cage movie.

[00:24:34] And you're going to put John Travolta in the Russell role.

[00:24:39] Or, or switch it.

[00:24:41] Make, make, make Travolta the bad guy.

[00:24:43] But I feel like this is a total Nick Cage movie, right?

[00:24:48] Like there's no way that Nick Cage does not improve this movie.

[00:24:52] I feel like Kevin Costner was doing a bit of Nick Cage.

[00:24:55] Okay.

[00:24:55] So what do you think?

[00:24:57] Does that, that, that improves this movie, right?

[00:25:00] I don't know.

[00:25:02] Um, I mean, you're, you're talking to a Russell stand.

[00:25:04] So, I mean, obviously, um.

[00:25:06] Yeah.

[00:25:06] But you don't want your guy in this movie, right?

[00:25:09] Right.

[00:25:10] See, this is where I think maybe you and I are going to have to differ on this particular film.

[00:25:15] Uh, it has to be Russell.

[00:25:19] Russell play, I think back to, to, to Kurt Russell playing Elvis in the John Carpenter TV film, uh, you know, about Elvis.

[00:25:28] And, uh, so there's something about Kurt Russell that feels Elvis-y.

[00:25:32] Well, let me just throw another tidbit, which of course you already know this, but Kurt Russell's first movie appearance was in an Elvis movie.

[00:25:41] Exactly.

[00:25:42] So you've got, all right, so that's good.

[00:25:44] You've got that.

[00:25:45] And, uh, I don't mind seeing Russell sort of embrace the Elvis-ness of his career, but I want it in a better movie.

[00:25:56] I think this movie, without, I'd say, I, I, this is the thing.

[00:26:01] I think this movie is a ton of fun.

[00:26:05] I, I enjoyed this movie quite a bit.

[00:26:08] Um, it is incongruous.

[00:26:12] It is nonsensical.

[00:26:14] It is very loud.

[00:26:15] It is manic.

[00:26:17] And I love, love watching, um, like A-list actors in something like this.

[00:26:24] Because going back to what we talked about before, like, I don't think they had any idea what this was going to be.

[00:26:30] And when it ends up being what it is, cause like there's a, I mean, cause I don't know if, I mean, let's talk about Costner a little bit.

[00:26:36] I think it's important to talk about you.

[00:26:38] I want to ask you a question.

[00:26:40] What is your relationship with Kevin Costner?

[00:26:42] All right.

[00:26:44] Before I answer that question, I feel like I need to respond to what you just said.

[00:26:49] I would like to respond with an apology to all of our listeners and to you.

[00:26:55] I know that you picked this movie, but I'm the one that suggested that we start a podcast.

[00:27:01] And if that suggestion led us here, led us to 3000 miles from Graceland.

[00:27:09] Uh, I, I regret it.

[00:27:13] I, I, I would, if I could go back in time and either kill Hitler or, uh, stop us from reviewing this movie, it would be a hard choice.

[00:27:29] I apologize to our listeners.

[00:27:31] I apologize, uh, to you and I'm going to apologize to Kevin Costner.

[00:27:37] Um, I don't know why.

[00:27:40] I just feel like he, he needs, he needs someone to apologize to him.

[00:27:44] It's a horror.

[00:27:45] It's a horrid movie.

[00:27:46] It's, it's a horrible, horrible movie.

[00:27:48] I really did enjoy iced tea.

[00:27:51] I enjoyed iced tea quite a bit.

[00:27:53] I hated Courtney Cox.

[00:27:55] I usually like Kurt Russell.

[00:27:57] I do.

[00:27:58] I hated it.

[00:27:59] I hated him.

[00:28:00] Uh, uh, this was a complete waste of Christian Slater who, I think this is what he deserves.

[00:28:08] All right.

[00:28:09] So anyway, now that I've issued that apology, I will answer your question.

[00:28:14] Um, Costner is in two of my favorite baseball movies and I, I love those movies so much that

[00:28:22] I almost will forgive a movie like water world.

[00:28:26] Um, I feel like Costner is bad 80% of the time.

[00:28:32] And for all of the, for all of the sort of the guff that Keanu Reeves has gotten over the years,

[00:28:38] I think Costner is sort of like almost the epitome of what people dislike about Keanu.

[00:28:48] Hmm.

[00:28:49] And I don't think he's a great actor, but for the movies that I like that he's in, I really, really do like those movies.

[00:28:59] Yeah.

[00:29:00] That's interesting.

[00:29:01] Cause I think that's one of the conversations, uh, Heather and I had a little bit, uh, in watching this.

[00:29:05] Um, like, uh, I think I first became aware of, of Costner with, um, the untouchables.

[00:29:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:16] Sure.

[00:29:16] And when's the last time you revisited the untouchables?

[00:29:20] Uh, it's, it's been a, it's been a few years for sure.

[00:29:24] Okay.

[00:29:24] Um, I, I think my, I think Costner does, uh, like, I feel like Costner is a middle reliever in this movie.

[00:29:35] Like he's asked to do some specific things, but there's like De Niro and Connery.

[00:29:42] Yeah.

[00:29:42] And, uh, you know, you got like Andy Garcia really does a good job.

[00:29:45] You have so many other people like doing the heavy lifting that Costner just has to play Elliot Ness in a very ho-hum kind of way.

[00:29:54] And I, and I think he's effective.

[00:29:55] So I think it's something like that maybe gives the wrong impression of Kevin Costner.

[00:29:59] And then, you know, like, oh, well he's good.

[00:30:02] It's like, well, he's fine if he's doing that.

[00:30:06] Um, but like, he's not Robin Hood.

[00:30:12] Robin Hood is, um, something we might want to revisit.

[00:30:17] I've never watched it all the way through.

[00:30:19] Okay.

[00:30:20] Okay.

[00:30:20] It's so comically bad at times that, and it takes itself so seriously.

[00:30:27] Uh, it's quite something.

[00:30:29] It's quite something to build.

[00:30:32] Um, well, like I've seen him, like, I don't like Field of Dreams.

[00:30:38] It's just not for me.

[00:30:39] Okay.

[00:30:39] I love it.

[00:30:40] It's one of my favorites.

[00:30:41] I know you do.

[00:30:42] Um, I thought he was decent in JFK.

[00:30:44] Doing a lot of the same stuff that he did in Untouchables.

[00:30:49] Right, right.

[00:30:49] Exactly.

[00:30:50] Right?

[00:30:50] I think there's like a sweet spot.

[00:30:52] How did you feel about him in a perfect world?

[00:30:53] That's a movie I think we both enjoy.

[00:30:56] Yeah.

[00:30:56] I think that that's sort of an outlier for him.

[00:30:59] It's an outlier.

[00:31:00] And there was a little bit, there's a couple scenes when, uh, when he was with the, what

[00:31:06] was his name?

[00:31:07] Jesse, uh, Wingro.

[00:31:09] Right, right.

[00:31:10] When he was with the kid in this movie that reminded me of how much I liked that other movie.

[00:31:16] Right?

[00:31:16] Right.

[00:31:16] Oh, yeah, you're a criminal on the run and you've got this kid with you and, you know,

[00:31:23] you got to teach him that even tough guys eat jelly sandwiches sometimes.

[00:31:29] Odd, right?

[00:31:30] Odd that it, like, went out of its way to not be a peanut butter sandwich to, to, as an homage

[00:31:36] to Elvis.

[00:31:36] Like, do you know?

[00:31:38] Ice tea is allergic to peanuts, maybe?

[00:31:42] Oh, maybe.

[00:31:44] That'd be a nice little twist, wouldn't it?

[00:31:46] Like, he's.

[00:31:47] It would show a certain level of, uh, of care on, uh, Kevin Costner's part.

[00:31:53] Well, not, not Kevin Costner.

[00:31:55] It, it would be.

[00:31:56] It would be Jake.

[00:31:58] It'd be Howie Long.

[00:32:00] Howie Long.

[00:32:01] I've only seen, I've only seen two Howie Long movies, uh, and they both had Christian Slater

[00:32:06] in them.

[00:32:06] I don't know what that means.

[00:32:07] Maybe we should be talking about Howie Long instead of, uh, Costner at this point.

[00:32:13] Um.

[00:32:14] Understated performance by Howie Long.

[00:32:16] All right.

[00:32:17] So you were going, I think we were going to talk about your complicated relationship

[00:32:21] with Costner.

[00:32:22] Yeah.

[00:32:22] So it's funny.

[00:32:22] Cause like, I, I do have, uh, films that with him that I, I, uh, like I said, Untouchables,

[00:32:29] I, I, I don't know.

[00:32:30] It's been a long time since I watched it, but I used to love Untouchables.

[00:32:33] Um.

[00:32:34] I thought I, I'd like them in like things like open range.

[00:32:38] Open range is good.

[00:32:40] Yeah.

[00:32:40] And again, like there's a certain, there's a certain, um, frequency that, that Costner

[00:32:48] has to play in, in order for it to, to work.

[00:32:51] Right.

[00:32:51] Cause like if it's, if it's too, if like he needs to be a cowboy or a baseball player is

[00:32:56] like what it kind of feels like.

[00:32:57] Well, I was just going to say, I think Bull Durham could be, you know, probably my top,

[00:33:05] one of my top 10 movies.

[00:33:07] I love Bull Durham.

[00:33:09] Um, so you got that.

[00:33:11] I, I'm, I'm a fan of Feel the Dreams.

[00:33:13] I, I don't hate Dances with Wolves.

[00:33:17] Yeah.

[00:33:19] I know you, I know your feelings about that.

[00:33:22] Uh, Perfect World's great.

[00:33:24] You know, so he, he's done a lot.

[00:33:27] He's done a lot.

[00:33:28] And he was, you know, for a good 15 years, I would say he was an A-list actor.

[00:33:34] I don't think he's that anymore.

[00:33:37] Although I guess.

[00:33:38] Yellowstone's pretty, pretty big, right?

[00:33:41] Yellowstone's pretty big.

[00:33:43] Um, I w I don't know if I would credit him for that.

[00:33:48] Like, I guess I was going to say like mid nineties, early 2000s.

[00:33:54] There's no way he's doing prestige television.

[00:33:56] Right.

[00:33:57] So.

[00:33:57] Right.

[00:33:57] True.

[00:33:58] True.

[00:33:59] Um, anyway, I mean, I, I buy him as a cowboy.

[00:34:03] Like you said, uh, I think that works.

[00:34:06] Did you find him menacing in this movie?

[00:34:09] I mean, at one point someone says he's the kind of guy that's liable to shove little snakes

[00:34:15] up the coochies of women or something.

[00:34:17] Right.

[00:34:18] Right.

[00:34:18] I don't like that at all.

[00:34:23] Yeah.

[00:34:24] Few do.

[00:34:26] Like, if you tell me, if you tell me that that, that, that, that, that's the kind of guy

[00:34:31] he is.

[00:34:33] That's an acquired move.

[00:34:34] I'm going to find that quite menacing.

[00:34:36] Yeah.

[00:34:36] I, I, I will say there's a point in the movie and I think it's pretty early, um, that I

[00:34:46] was like, I'm going to stop trying to figure this out.

[00:34:49] Like, I don't, I'm not going to think I'm not going to think, um, which is kind of refreshing.

[00:34:56] It's nice to see something, which is like, I mean, there's, I mean, there are cartoons,

[00:35:01] right?

[00:35:01] Like there are running stimpy cartoons.

[00:35:03] I feel that have more to say.

[00:35:05] And, uh, cause this is just like, after a while you're like, Oh, this is just, you're

[00:35:09] just, you're going to, you're going to just do something.

[00:35:11] All right.

[00:35:11] That's fine.

[00:35:12] Like, I don't know at all why the kid is what he is.

[00:35:19] I don't know.

[00:35:20] I don't know why the mom just left him with Kurt Russell.

[00:35:27] Like, I don't know.

[00:35:28] She's a psycho.

[00:35:29] Courtney Cox is a psycho.

[00:35:30] She's a psycho.

[00:35:32] She falls in love with him in, I don't know, 20 minutes, I guess.

[00:35:37] Enough so, not just like, I want to be with you.

[00:35:40] Enough so, it's like, I'm okay with leaving my child for many, many, many days in the hands

[00:35:50] of an ex-con who just held up a casino.

[00:35:53] She's the worst person in this film.

[00:35:55] And I think that the second worst person in the film is her son, who, let's face it,

[00:36:03] is just a kleptomaniac.

[00:36:05] And, uh, and probably the mastermind of this entire caper.

[00:36:10] And, and he doesn't mind watching his mom just get absolutely railed.

[00:36:15] See, that's, that's my question.

[00:36:17] Is it his desire to go in there and steal the wallet?

[00:36:20] Or is that her?

[00:36:23] That's what it was her idea.

[00:36:24] Well, that's what, so that's the thing about this movie, right?

[00:36:27] Like, I feel like the movie has a short-term memory loss issues, right?

[00:36:31] Like, it's like, you watch that scene and I'm like, oh, she's conning Kurt Russell.

[00:36:37] That's why I asked, is this movie written by a sixth grader?

[00:36:41] And then, and then.

[00:36:42] Because it feels like it was written by a sixth grader.

[00:36:45] Yes.

[00:36:46] Well, she wasn't conning.

[00:36:47] She was legitimately having the most violent sex I've, I've ever seen.

[00:36:53] I mean, um, I'm not even sure where her vagina is in this particular scene.

[00:36:59] Uh, and, and then this, and the kid is just, oh, he's just stealing.

[00:37:02] He's just stealing.

[00:37:03] And he, and he puts it in the old, the old steel attic.

[00:37:06] Like, and then she knows, but it's like, yeah, you know, you know how it is.

[00:37:11] It'd be like that sometimes.

[00:37:13] And so I'm like, oh, she's not conning him.

[00:37:15] This is, she's, she's smitten.

[00:37:19] She's smitten, but she's, um, she's trying to seal the deal on the relationship by stealing all of the money.

[00:37:27] Right.

[00:37:29] Yeah.

[00:37:29] Huh.

[00:37:30] Huh.

[00:37:30] I don't know.

[00:37:30] Interesting.

[00:37:31] I don't know.

[00:37:31] I also feel like the movie had a moment.

[00:37:33] After they have sex, he, he offers to pay her.

[00:37:36] Yeah.

[00:37:37] She has to tell him like, no, you, if you liked it, flowers or chocolate.

[00:37:43] Right.

[00:37:43] Which, you know, he's learning, you know, later on he brings her Snickers or whatever.

[00:37:47] Yeah.

[00:37:47] Uh, this should be a very offensive.

[00:37:53] It should be a very offensive suggestion to think, uh, thank you for the good time.

[00:38:00] May I pay you?

[00:38:02] Yeah.

[00:38:02] It was a hundred thousand dollars just to be quiet about it.

[00:38:05] Right.

[00:38:05] But the other, there was, uh, there was a moment where the movie felt like, I feel like the movie was trying with metaphors, but like, I feel like the guy was like, like the director was scared of metaphors.

[00:38:17] Like he would like, oh, I don't want to do it anymore.

[00:38:21] Like you had the, the whole Sinatra versus, uh, versus Elvis thing.

[00:38:27] And so then later, uh, Jesse and, and, and the Kurt Russell care, they have, they're donning, uh, pedoras in a very like kind of old timey Sinatra way.

[00:38:38] And I'm like, oh, this is the Sinatra versus, uh, Elvis showdown.

[00:38:43] And then like immediately they abandoned that look.

[00:38:47] In favor of, in favor of Custer becoming a, a rabid wombats fan.

[00:38:58] Hey.

[00:39:00] Yes.

[00:39:01] You traveling alone?

[00:39:02] Not unless you count team spirit.

[00:39:06] Wombats.

[00:39:07] All right.

[00:39:07] Let me tell you one.

[00:39:08] I have a new one.

[00:39:09] Listen, pork chop, pork chop, greasy, greasy.

[00:39:14] We beat their fucking team.

[00:39:16] Easy, easy.

[00:39:17] I'm bad.

[00:39:20] Okay.

[00:39:20] Hey, well just do me a favor.

[00:39:22] Take it easy on the beer.

[00:39:23] Okay.

[00:39:27] I, I liked that there was, uh, a little bit of a, uh, a wink and a nod towards big trouble in little China.

[00:39:35] Mm.

[00:39:36] Yeah.

[00:39:37] There was a couple of winks and nods.

[00:39:39] No bullshit.

[00:39:40] That was, that was, and then at one point the question is, uh, you know, you don't want to pay the helicopter.

[00:39:45] What do you think we should have used?

[00:39:47] Hang gliders?

[00:39:48] Oh, a little bit of a, uh, escape from, uh.

[00:39:51] That was definitely escape from LA.

[00:39:54] Right?

[00:39:55] Yeah, yeah.

[00:39:55] No, I, uh.

[00:39:57] And then of course they did put iced tea in a tea formation.

[00:40:00] True, true.

[00:40:03] Really, really, really good stuff.

[00:40:05] And then, uh, scorpion gets him.

[00:40:08] Right in the old scorpion tattoo.

[00:40:14] So.

[00:40:18] It's just.

[00:40:20] The thing that blew my mind.

[00:40:22] Heather watched the whole thing.

[00:40:25] What was Heather's view on this?

[00:40:28] I, she's, she, I mean, she's not going to tell you it's good, but I, I, I, I, it's, I expected her to be on her phone.

[00:40:36] That's probably the most, like one of these types of, like one of these level of movies that I've seen her be like kind of watching the most of it.

[00:40:43] I don't know why.

[00:40:44] I, I, I, we didn't really talk about it afterwards.

[00:40:47] We just sort of walked away.

[00:40:47] She was traumatized by it, Steve.

[00:40:50] You, you traumatized her.

[00:40:53] Uh, I apologize to Heather too.

[00:40:56] I, I mean, for all the apologies that I've issued, uh, I should absolutely apologize to Heather the most because it is, it is because of this podcast that she watched that movie.

[00:41:08] Um, okay.

[00:41:09] So I think, I think this movie is a lot better with Nick Cage instead of Costner.

[00:41:17] Uh, I just, I, I just think that that's a no brainer.

[00:41:20] Well, does it, do you think it's better or do you think it's, it's, it makes more sense because you're like, well, yeah, this is the kind of thing that like feels like it would come out of Nick Cage's like mind.

[00:41:32] I feel like he's one of these rare actors that if he's in one of these movies, he knows how to dial it up to 10 and that makes it more enjoyable.

[00:41:44] Does it feel like $3 million isn't enough to do all the, the, the killing and blowing up of the casino that they went through?

[00:41:53] Well, they did get, I could get a loan for $3 million if I put enough effort into it.

[00:41:59] Uh, yeah, look, in addition to that $3 million that they got, they, uh, they were able to, uh, steal John Lovitz's money and then shoot him with an arrow.

[00:42:14] John Lovitz.

[00:42:15] We find out that he's not a hunter.

[00:42:19] That's a shocker.

[00:42:24] So he's in this movie.

[00:42:26] I was looking forward to him quite a bit, uh, in this film.

[00:42:31] I was like, when is Levitz coming in?

[00:42:33] When is Levitz coming in?

[00:42:33] He's kind of the, the, the better call Saul of this movie.

[00:42:36] He really is.

[00:42:37] And you know what?

[00:42:38] He is the perfect person for this movie.

[00:42:41] You know, he, this, if you just put him up front, give him more to do.

[00:42:45] That's what I say.

[00:42:47] This movie is, uh, to me, I think it's, it's the, uh, sizzler salad bar.

[00:42:54] The sizzler, all you can eat salad bar movies.

[00:42:57] Right?

[00:42:57] Like, um, there's a lot of things you can have.

[00:43:01] So you just have it all.

[00:43:03] And then later you're like, oh, what did I do?

[00:43:06] This is a plate full of food that includes like cornbread and green lime pudding.

[00:43:14] Yeah.

[00:43:15] This is like an eating an insane amount of chocolate mousse just because I can.

[00:43:19] Little pieces of bacon bits just in a pile.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:23] Lots of bay shrimp.

[00:43:25] Just a, just an inconceivable amount of bay shrimp.

[00:43:30] So Costner was a medic in the war.

[00:43:35] Are you supposed to administer CPR on people after they shot in the chest?

[00:43:40] Like he's not having a heart attack, dude.

[00:43:45] He got shot in the chest.

[00:43:47] He's actually blowing air into his mouth and feeling the air come out of his chest.

[00:43:53] Is this what you're supposed to do as a gunshot victim?

[00:43:58] No, just because he was a medic in the war doesn't mean he was a good medic in the war.

[00:44:03] Is there a cliche, a device or a trope that you enjoyed in this movie, Steve?

[00:44:09] Elvis stuff.

[00:44:10] I think I think that might also be part of it, right?

[00:44:12] Just because there was this Elvis stuff.

[00:44:16] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:18] And, and I don't know if it was a commentary on Elvis culture or what, but I mean, Kurt Russell in kind of an Elvis-y thing was kind of maybe enough for me to just, to just go through and just whatever, whatever you're going to do.

[00:44:38] All right.

[00:44:39] The trope I like, I really enjoy a good bulletproof vest.

[00:44:45] I like that reveal every, every time.

[00:44:49] It's not like you can't just say, look, oh, I was wearing this Kevlar.

[00:44:53] That's why I'm still alive.

[00:44:55] You actually have to rip open the shirt.

[00:44:58] It's helpful if there's like buttons that you're actually dislodging when that happens.

[00:45:03] And then you reveal that there's the bullet.

[00:45:06] It's still stuck right there in the chest.

[00:45:10] Didn't kill me because I'm wearing this vest.

[00:45:15] And this movie did it twice, Steve.

[00:45:17] So I appreciated that.

[00:45:20] Yeah.

[00:45:20] Interesting that Costner didn't consider a head shot when he was getting rid of those, his, his assistants.

[00:45:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:29] Yeah.

[00:45:30] Uh, is there a tweak that you would have done to this movie to improve it?

[00:45:34] Um, more scorpions.

[00:45:38] Oh, really?

[00:45:39] I, I was thinking maybe get a seventh grader to write the movie rather than a sixth grader.

[00:45:46] I feel like just, just a, that little bit more maturity might've helped.

[00:45:52] Jeez.

[00:45:53] What is happening in the background?

[00:45:56] Uh, that's right.

[00:45:57] Is there a scorpion fight happening in your house?

[00:45:59] That's Henley who, you know, is, uh, she's still got her leg in a cast.

[00:46:04] And so she's in her crate and she's, she's getting a little FOMO.

[00:46:07] Okay.

[00:46:08] All right.

[00:46:11] Is this, is this movie better, worse than on part of the Ron Howard film, Steve?

[00:46:19] Um, it's a, this is actually a tough grading for me.

[00:46:23] Um, because on one hand, I don't know that, I know that Ron Howard couldn't have made this

[00:46:30] this way.

[00:46:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:33] Um.

[00:46:34] In the same way that Kevin Pollack couldn't really match the tone of this film.

[00:46:37] Right.

[00:46:38] So the, the, the question for me is, does this movie, could it be improved or should it not

[00:46:46] be improved?

[00:46:47] Like, does this movie doing exactly what it should?

[00:46:50] Like, is there a better movie to be made?

[00:46:53] And I think the answer to that is not, not really.

[00:46:57] You know what I mean?

[00:46:58] It's like, so, so that's why on one hand I'm like, like a Howard could improve it, but that

[00:47:04] might make it worse.

[00:47:06] So you're a moral monster.

[00:47:08] Uh, you've lost all credibility.

[00:47:11] This is a Howard minus 20.

[00:47:15] Wow.

[00:47:16] My son came into the, into the room after it was done.

[00:47:20] I was, I was weeping.

[00:47:21] I was, I was weeping as I watched the credits roll.

[00:47:24] Um, my son walks in, he says.

[00:47:28] Uh, how'd you like your movie?

[00:47:29] I said it was horrible.

[00:47:31] He's like, what?

[00:47:33] He's like, usually when you don't like a movie, you say like, well, it was fun.

[00:47:37] You never say it's horrible.

[00:47:39] This movie was horrible.

[00:47:40] And, um, I think a Howard minus 20 is, is generous.

[00:47:46] That's my take on this.

[00:47:48] Yeah.

[00:47:49] I'm, I'm going to just, I think this is a NA.

[00:47:53] It's not applicable.

[00:47:55] It's not applicable to, to Howard.

[00:47:58] Huh?

[00:47:59] This movie, this movie exists outside of, uh, of a universe in which Ron Howard makes films.

[00:48:04] I don't think so.

[00:48:05] I think.

[00:48:06] Okay.

[00:48:06] Let me, let me throw a couple of things that we've associated with Howard over the years.

[00:48:11] All right.

[00:48:13] Uh, he usually gets A-list actors, right?

[00:48:16] Yes.

[00:48:17] Um, usually doesn't get the best out of the A-list actors, but that, you know, still enough

[00:48:23] to carry it, you know, carry the film.

[00:48:27] And Ron Howard, I could see Ron Howard doing a heist movie.

[00:48:32] I, I, that, that's something that I could see happen.

[00:48:36] Uh, or a deep dive into Elvis culture.

[00:48:39] I could see, I, I would be kind of interested in Howard doing that kind of film.

[00:48:45] But this is, this is not, I mean, this is so bad on so many levels.

[00:48:52] Are we done?

[00:48:53] Are we done now?

[00:48:54] I don't know.

[00:48:55] I mean, I, I still feel like we haven't given it, it's just due, but, um, but also at the

[00:49:03] same time, I feel like, yeah, that, that, that's plenty.

[00:49:10] Oh, gosh.

[00:49:12] Uh, I guess the last thing I want to note is that, um, in an Elvis movie with all this

[00:49:19] Elvis paraphernalia and all these Elvis songs and all these homages to Elvis, Elvis is actually

[00:49:25] a kind of integral to the plot of the movie.

[00:49:29] We find out how we long as the chopper pilot is listening to Paul Simon.

[00:49:37] Why?

[00:49:38] I think, I think that's the most nuanced character in this entire film.

[00:49:43] What, what is happening with how we long?

[00:49:45] It just goes to show that he's, he's a hired hand.

[00:49:48] He's, he's keeps things a little bit more even keeled.

[00:49:50] He's not like for him.

[00:49:51] This isn't personal.

[00:49:52] So that's the thing about Kevin Costner in this, in this role or like he's like, it's

[00:49:57] this personal, right?

[00:49:58] This, this, that's why I think it's hard.

[00:49:59] Like it's not just business for him.

[00:50:01] He's, he's got, this matters maybe too much.

[00:50:05] And, uh, and how long is perfect for that?

[00:50:08] Look, he's Paul Simon, man.

[00:50:09] He's, he's, he's mellow.

[00:50:11] He's not getting, he's not getting too up, too down.

[00:50:14] He's maybe he's a little late with the helicopter.

[00:50:17] Cause he's just, maybe his second job is that he's a hot air balloon pilot, you know?

[00:50:28] Oh gosh.

[00:50:29] All right, Steve.

[00:50:31] Um, is there a half the battle Wondergron moment in this film?

[00:50:35] Um, geez, I don't, I mean, so many lessons, I guess.

[00:50:40] Um, just always, when I, when you open a bag, like open it and then like back away.

[00:50:48] I think of one thing that we've learned from, uh, Kill Bill and now this is that, you know,

[00:50:54] sometimes there's a venomous creature in that bag.

[00:50:57] Got you.

[00:50:58] Treat every bag.

[00:50:58] Like it's full of scorpion.

[00:50:59] My suggestion is when your car is stolen, call it in as stolen right away.

[00:51:06] Just, just do it right away.

[00:51:07] Yeah.

[00:51:07] That, that seemed like a pretty, like, oh, maybe the police will just get them.

[00:51:11] It's really called, it's really called out in this movie.

[00:51:14] It's just a genius maneuver.

[00:51:16] Right.

[00:51:17] Um, we don't even talk about the gas station.

[00:51:22] Oh, geez.

[00:51:23] Oh gosh.

[00:51:24] Was that her?

[00:51:25] Was that that woman's father that was killed?

[00:51:28] I don't, I don't know.

[00:51:29] Or was it like, I don't know what was implied.

[00:51:31] I don't know if that was an implication that like the reason why she was so willing to leave

[00:51:35] is because there was abuse or if it was just like everybody in this movie is insane.

[00:51:39] Right.

[00:51:39] Like everybody, like everybody's crazy.

[00:51:43] This is like, this is a movie that says, look, this is what the world would be like.

[00:51:47] If the rapture only took sane people.

[00:51:49] What the fuck is a wombat anyway?

[00:51:52] A wombat's a small little furry animal.

[00:51:55] Something like a hedgehog.

[00:51:56] She, she wants to go with the guy who just, okay.

[00:52:01] Gosh.

[00:52:01] All right.

[00:52:03] See?

[00:52:04] This movie's rich.

[00:52:05] All right.

[00:52:07] He kills the guy who was either a gross old creepy guy or her father.

[00:52:18] She yells at him, I could call the police.

[00:52:21] You know, it was like something to threaten him.

[00:52:26] She goes in.

[00:52:27] She's about to do it.

[00:52:29] The phone has been destroyed.

[00:52:34] She thinks my next best option is to go live a life of crime with this guy.

[00:52:40] I mean, he's got a hell of a beef jerky.

[00:52:45] He's got a lot of beef jerky.

[00:52:48] And after performing a sexual act on the freeway, she thinks, I'm done with this guy.

[00:52:55] I'll just go to Reno.

[00:52:57] Yeah.

[00:52:58] That's okay.

[00:52:58] I'll tell you what.

[00:53:00] I'll go to Reno on the back of a motorcycle with some dude that this guy just happens to know.

[00:53:07] I'm going to tell you right now, I don't know where they're going and what kind of life she was headed towards.

[00:53:13] Reno is not a better option.

[00:53:16] That's the most depressing part of this entire film.

[00:53:18] Exactly.

[00:53:19] This woman is just...

[00:53:21] She gets sentenced to a life of Reno.

[00:53:23] She's got sentenced to a half.

[00:53:25] She's got sentenced to a life of no time.