Properly Howard Presents: Felonies and Fugazis (film draft)

[00:00:00] Hello Properly Howard fans.

[00:00:22] Steve and I are gearing up for the next season of Properly Howard where we're hoping to cover

[00:00:27] movies that feature crime, not necessarily just crime dramas but crime related.

[00:00:32] We're calling this season Felonies and Fugazies.

[00:00:36] Steve and I will be selecting our films draft style for the upcoming season Felonies and

[00:00:43] Fugazies.

[00:00:44] Hey, if you happen to be in the San Francisco area this weekend, you might be lucky enough

[00:00:49] to check out Steve do his stand up at Cobbs.

[00:00:52] All right, without further ado here is stand up comic Steve Osburn.

[00:00:58] So Steve I do not want to mislead our listeners.

[00:01:03] It may look as if we have not been recording podcasts for some time.

[00:01:09] We have been conducting podcasts.

[00:01:13] Yeah.

[00:01:14] Yeah.

[00:01:15] And almost daily and yet it just seems as if one of us can't press record.

[00:01:22] Yeah, I mean I don't want to name any names but yeah, I think that we've held this draft

[00:01:29] at least 14 times and each time I failed to press record and honestly I don't even know

[00:01:36] if I'm recording right now so we're gonna see how this works.

[00:01:39] Yeah, it's kind of like we're doing them podcast cosplay like it doesn't it's not the

[00:01:45] real thing.

[00:01:46] But we're enjoying ourselves.

[00:01:49] It's the only way that I can feel anything.

[00:01:53] I realize that otherwise my life is dull but if I can trick Steve into recording a fake

[00:02:00] podcast there's a little part of my sociopathic nature that's tickled by that.

[00:02:08] So yes, we are going to try to re-record our crime draft film fest and we're calling this

[00:02:25] You would think after many efforts to do this that you would have had better way to intro

[00:02:29] that.

[00:02:30] I've changed the title several times.

[00:02:31] Yeah, no I don't really.

[00:02:32] At least it still reads like a spontaneous podcast.

[00:02:36] As long as I keep making mistakes it will keep feeling like it's new for the first time.

[00:02:42] We're calling this the fugitives and no we're not.

[00:02:46] Damn it.

[00:02:51] Felonies and Fugazies 20th century crime drama film festival and I don't know why

[00:02:58] I wrote fugitives on this but what we've done is we've recorded this at least twice

[00:03:06] already.

[00:03:07] One time I didn't press record the other time was kind of us feeling really bummed that I

[00:03:11] didn't press record.

[00:03:12] Yeah, we tried to do it right afterwards and so we were just kind of like, ah.

[00:03:17] So I'll take over here because I think I can speak.

[00:03:21] Thank you.

[00:03:22] Thank God.

[00:03:23] For the folks at home what we're doing is you know you've seen you've heard

[00:03:26] us do drafts for the season we pick movies and so this is no different except it is

[00:03:32] more complicated.

[00:03:34] We did one and it was great and then about half hour into the 45 minutes of the podcast

[00:03:40] that's what we realized did not record it so we said let's try it again.

[00:03:43] We were very upset and then it was like well maybe we shouldn't do the same movies that

[00:03:49] we just did but we were excited and then so we went through it and it was really

[00:03:53] not an enjoyable listen.

[00:03:56] Well on top of that I started the thing off by drafting a Woody Allen movie that

[00:04:01] really pissed you off.

[00:04:03] So in addition to not being thrilled with losing some pretty good content I

[00:04:09] doubled down and I thought I'm going to draft a film I know Steve's going to hate.

[00:04:13] This will make up for it.

[00:04:16] This will make a really good podcast if he's already bummed out and then I can

[00:04:20] maybe just pour some salt on it.

[00:04:23] So basically what we're going to do is we're going to between the two of us

[00:04:28] we're going to draft 10 films that are focused on crimes.

[00:04:33] Yes.

[00:04:34] And agreed.

[00:04:36] And it yes and it is yeah so anytime I say something wrong feel free to jump in

[00:04:39] but this is my way of making sure I understand the latest iteration of this

[00:04:46] attempt.

[00:04:47] So it's 20th century nobody can okay this is where it gets a little

[00:04:50] complicated.

[00:04:52] Can I interject here for a minute?

[00:04:54] If you think you can.

[00:04:56] I would just like to say that these rules have changed a bit because my solution

[00:05:03] to screwing up several times was just to keep complicating the rules so that we

[00:05:09] wouldn't just come up with the same films that we had before.

[00:05:13] So what I've done is I've complicated the rules so much that it would almost

[00:05:17] make it impossible for us to be satisfied with this draft when we're done.

[00:05:22] Right.

[00:05:23] What we did before not that it necessarily matters but I think it's

[00:05:26] maybe helpful to understand your psychosis is we were supposed to take a movie

[00:05:33] from the 20th century and we but it had we couldn't duplicate a release year.

[00:05:38] So if I took a movie from 1988 1988 was off the board for Anna.

[00:05:42] Yeah that sounds simple enough right.

[00:05:44] That's part of it and then they also had to satisfy one of five categories.

[00:05:50] Categories were a bag of cash has to have some sort of the movie has to have

[00:05:55] some moment where there is is either a duffel bag of cash or a big briefcase

[00:06:01] or maybe a giant envelope envelope of yeah you had to have at least some kind

[00:06:06] of cash which would imply a robbery or heist or maybe a large con would be

[00:06:12] sort of the theme there.

[00:06:13] Right.

[00:06:13] Then there was Dirty Cop.

[00:06:15] Dirty Cop was one of them.

[00:06:16] So they have to film has to have cops on the take or you know something

[00:06:19] along those lines.

[00:06:21] There was unlikely partners.

[00:06:23] The other category was a greasy Italian had to feature a greasy Italian.

[00:06:29] And I remember you insisted on this and I being Italian I thought you know this

[00:06:33] is really offensive Steve.

[00:06:34] I don't know.

[00:06:35] I think you are misremembering but yeah I mean I could eat so because

[00:06:41] you're Italian and I am newly Irish.

[00:06:43] I mean you could have almost wonder if we could have expanded that right.

[00:06:47] Like a greasy Italian or a drunk Irishman.

[00:06:52] Because I mean since both of those things include redundancies.

[00:06:56] So that was my my category greasy Italian and then there was a wild card.

[00:07:03] So once you once you've satisfied like you could use if one doesn't

[00:07:06] necessarily fall into all that category you can use a wild card or a wild

[00:07:10] card just gives you an extra extra pick essentially.

[00:07:13] So this time.

[00:07:14] So this time here's what I did.

[00:07:16] The categories are now monetary MacGuffin.

[00:07:20] So this could be a bag of diamonds or a bag of gold or a bag of cash or whatever.

[00:07:25] Monetary MacGuffin greasy Italian I had to keep that one in unlikely partners.

[00:07:32] Dirty cop pre 1984 film.

[00:07:35] Now the pre 1984 film was simply because we realized that we were

[00:07:41] leaning heavily toward the I guess the end of the century rather than the early films.

[00:07:47] Right.

[00:07:48] So I eliminated wild card but.

[00:07:52] But yes.

[00:07:53] If you feel like one of your movies can satisfy two of the categories then

[00:08:01] you can claim it as satisfying two of the categories no more than two to give

[00:08:06] yourself one wild card and then you can give yourself a wild card.

[00:08:08] So that.

[00:08:10] So that allows a little bit of flexibility but the film absolutely has to

[00:08:16] satisfy these two categories.

[00:08:18] It can't be a stretch.

[00:08:19] That's what I'm saying.

[00:08:21] Gotcha.

[00:08:22] All right.

[00:08:22] So the way that we're going to begin this unless there.

[00:08:27] Oh there is one more.

[00:08:28] There is one more wrinkle here.

[00:08:29] OK.

[00:08:31] As opposed to just doing if if I select 1988 and that eliminates your

[00:08:35] ability to select 1988.

[00:08:37] It actually eliminates all release years that end in eight.

[00:08:42] So it's actually so 1988 would then eliminate your ability to take 98

[00:08:47] 78 68.

[00:08:48] Right.

[00:08:49] And so.

[00:08:50] So the final digit of the release here has to kind of look like a

[00:08:53] Sudoku line.

[00:08:55] So every so this guarantees that every single movie will have a unique

[00:09:00] final digit for the release.

[00:09:04] All right.

[00:09:05] So the way that we're going to begin this because I just can't stop

[00:09:10] complicating these rules is that I'm going to roll a 10 sided die.

[00:09:16] And the higher number will select first.

[00:09:20] But the number that is rolled on your behalf.

[00:09:25] You're now stuck with and you're going to have to select a movie in

[00:09:29] that year.

[00:09:29] So if I roll out your first pick or is it just up to you when you use it.

[00:09:33] I think it's up to you when you use it because but the other person

[00:09:37] cannot draft that year.

[00:09:39] Yes.

[00:09:39] That year is off the board for that.

[00:09:41] Right.

[00:09:41] So you could.

[00:09:42] Yeah.

[00:09:42] So you know that you're going to get that year at some point.

[00:09:45] So there's no necessarily advantage to taking it first.

[00:09:48] You might you might decide to take it last because you're already

[00:09:51] guaranteed.

[00:09:52] Yes.

[00:09:52] That's right.

[00:09:53] That's right.

[00:09:55] So if I draft for you draft three I'm going to go first

[00:09:58] but I am now stuck with 84 74 94 and the lot and you are now stuck

[00:10:03] with any year that ends with three.

[00:10:06] Are we clear on the felonies and Fuguesi's draft rules?

[00:10:15] Who's to say I would like to add the additional rule.

[00:10:22] No, I'm kidding.

[00:10:24] All right.

[00:10:25] I'm going to roll this die and we're going to see what happens.

[00:10:30] I'm going to roll for you first.

[00:10:32] All right.

[00:10:32] Okay.

[00:10:33] Okay.

[00:10:33] Here we go.

[00:10:36] This is a five Steve.

[00:10:37] So now you have the number five and any film that ends with the number five.

[00:10:45] All right.

[00:10:46] And I'm going to roll me.

[00:10:50] I have the number two.

[00:10:51] So you're going to draft first.

[00:10:52] I'm going to take a look at all the movies I have with ending in two.

[00:10:57] Same same.

[00:11:00] And I got some I got some decent stuff here.

[00:11:03] So you're going to go first and I'm kind of curious to see what you do with this.

[00:11:09] So I am going to start us off with.

[00:11:18] It's very exciting.

[00:11:23] I'm doing it.

[00:11:24] I'm doing tango and cash.

[00:11:28] 1989.

[00:11:30] Wow.

[00:11:31] Tango and cash is the number one pick.

[00:11:34] And this is going under my unlikely partners category.

[00:11:38] And I try to see if I can double it up.

[00:11:42] I just don't recall.

[00:11:44] I mean, you could do unlikely partners and greasy Italian.

[00:11:48] Oh, that's true.

[00:11:49] Yes.

[00:11:49] Right.

[00:11:50] Yes.

[00:11:50] I'm going to I'm going to I'm double doubling down so that it gives me a wild card.

[00:11:57] All right.

[00:11:57] That gives you a wild card and that also takes off the board crimes and misdemeanors.

[00:12:07] I was mostly doing it for that reason.

[00:12:10] By me taking crimes and Woody Allen's crimes and misdemeanors as before.

[00:12:15] It freaked you out.

[00:12:16] I think I got gotten your head a little bit.

[00:12:18] It freaked me out.

[00:12:19] You did.

[00:12:20] I I'm very happy.

[00:12:22] Tango and cash to the highest selection on yes.

[00:12:25] Tango.

[00:12:25] Yeah.

[00:12:26] In in for the first time in the history of modern cinema, tango and cash was picked

[00:12:31] first for something.

[00:12:34] All right.

[00:12:34] And I will say and I say with this is I like this move.

[00:12:39] I like it.

[00:12:39] It's been a great deal.

[00:12:40] And you you've seen it.

[00:12:42] Yes.

[00:12:43] I have seen it recently within the last few years.

[00:12:46] And I was surprised at how many twists and turns this this movie has.

[00:12:53] Yeah.

[00:12:53] This is they pulled out all the stops.

[00:12:56] I mean, if we if we could have also included a category of Kurt Russell in drag.

[00:13:05] The partners are very unlikely in this film.

[00:13:09] So here's what this takes off the board for me.

[00:13:12] Roadhouse crimes and misdemeanors three kings.

[00:13:16] And I added Moonraker.

[00:13:19] Oh, dude, that's man.

[00:13:21] That's an amazing one because I was just talking about Moonraker

[00:13:25] and I had that one on as a potential because I did do a little bit of deep

[00:13:30] dive into trying to find more 70s movies that would be too mission.

[00:13:35] And I've never seen Moonraker and I hear it's just horrible.

[00:13:39] Oh, I love Moonraker.

[00:13:41] Do you really?

[00:13:42] Oh, man.

[00:13:43] Well, we may have to keep Moonraker in mind for future possibilities.

[00:13:48] All right, I am going to take.

[00:13:53] Gross point blank.

[00:13:55] Oh, in the category of unlikely partners.

[00:14:00] I really enjoy this movie.

[00:14:02] I don't think that this could be called a crime drama.

[00:14:04] I think it's more of a rom-com than anything.

[00:14:06] I do like this movie a lot.

[00:14:09] I think it's kind of the perfect movie for design specifically for Gen Xers.

[00:14:16] This is mini driver and John Cusack and Joan Cusack.

[00:14:21] I think it's a legitimately funny movie.

[00:14:24] And, you know, it's about a hitman who goes to his high school reunion.

[00:14:27] So if you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it.

[00:14:33] And I think that 97 has a lot of competition here.

[00:14:39] Yeah, I'd direct.

[00:14:41] What it does for me, of course, is it ensures that I do not have to watch face off again.

[00:14:48] I know that that is a film that I think you took out of spite

[00:14:52] because I took crimes in the instamuners.

[00:14:54] That is that is correct.

[00:14:56] And I just want to make sure that I don't have to waste two hours

[00:15:01] with Travolta and Cage facing off.

[00:15:05] Wink, wink.

[00:15:07] So.

[00:15:11] It also does take off in the heat of the night, the untouchables

[00:15:15] raising Arizona, Jackie Brown and Copland, all, you know, all interesting movies.

[00:15:22] Very interesting, all solid, yes.

[00:15:26] This I don't think I can double up.

[00:15:28] It just fits in one category as far as I can tell.

[00:15:33] And, Steve,

[00:15:36] it is now your selection.

[00:15:39] All right, and that was.

[00:15:42] Seven.

[00:15:44] I am going to go.

[00:15:46] I think you know where I'm going to go with this one.

[00:15:47] OK.

[00:15:50] I'm going to go with 1988.

[00:15:56] We're going to do a little thing called Shake Down.

[00:15:59] Shake Down will satisfy my dirty

[00:16:04] cops.

[00:16:06] Now, I never seen Shake Down and I'm looking forward to this.

[00:16:11] Yeah, I think I think I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[00:16:16] How many times have you seen Shake Down?

[00:16:17] I'll probably like twice, maybe three times.

[00:16:19] OK.

[00:16:21] But I revisit I revisit certain scenes from it actually.

[00:16:25] OK, this does take off the board.

[00:16:26] One of my favorite films of all time, The Big Lebowski.

[00:16:30] Yeah.

[00:16:31] It also removes Donnie Brasco, Midnight Express and

[00:16:37] you know, a few other possibilities here.

[00:16:40] By the way, you you're taking seven

[00:16:43] took Smokey in the bandit off as my pre-84.

[00:16:46] Yeah. And that was going to be

[00:16:49] unlikely partners and pre-84 if I needed to.

[00:16:54] All right, I'm going to take Pulp Fiction.

[00:16:57] Whoa, that is a shocking, shocking pick.

[00:17:01] I know.

[00:17:02] And I think that I mentioned to you in a previous

[00:17:06] conversation that I was a little reluctant to take

[00:17:09] Pulp Fiction because it is one of my favorite films.

[00:17:11] And I kind of am worried that if I

[00:17:14] cover it in podcast form,

[00:17:18] it'll sort of put my definitive opinion on the film.

[00:17:23] You know, it's like, will I ever talk about it again?

[00:17:26] I've already podcasted about it, but I just

[00:17:29] I think it's an unwarranted concern.

[00:17:33] I think this film is so rich

[00:17:37] that I think that I'm

[00:17:40] think of my fears were unwarranted.

[00:17:42] OK.

[00:17:44] This absolutely satisfies

[00:17:47] multiple categories, Dirty Cop and Monetary McGuffin.

[00:17:52] This takes off a few for me.

[00:17:55] Takes off speed.

[00:17:59] Takes off Beverly Hills Cop.

[00:18:04] Also takes off Godfather Part Two and Leon the professional.

[00:18:10] Both films I had considered.

[00:18:13] Let me cross these off.

[00:18:15] And now, Steve.

[00:18:19] And you covered Dirty Cop and you covered

[00:18:22] the McGuffin, correct?

[00:18:23] Looking forward.

[00:18:25] Oh, no, I got to greasy a ton.

[00:18:28] I'm already. Yeah, I'll be greasy.

[00:18:30] You tell me well, I've come tango and catches my greasy Italian.

[00:18:34] So all I have. Oh, that's right. You do.

[00:18:36] So all I have left is pre-84 and then a wild card.

[00:18:40] Right.

[00:18:41] Today, I will say, though, you know, Stallone is maybe his

[00:18:44] least greasy in this film.

[00:18:46] He, you know, he's sort of a he's trading stocks on the side.

[00:18:52] Not just that you can't do that as a greasy Italian.

[00:18:55] I'm just saying he's he's a pretty buttoned up

[00:18:58] straight, this kind of guy in this.

[00:19:00] Yeah, but I mean, my guess is that every morning

[00:19:03] he has a a degreasing regimen if we don't see.

[00:19:10] There's just a little grease that oozes out every year.

[00:19:12] Sort of seeps.

[00:19:15] All right. What is your next selection?

[00:19:18] All right. So I need to be clear.

[00:19:20] I need to pre-84.

[00:19:22] Yes.

[00:19:23] And then it's because I want to

[00:19:28] Oh, a monetary MacGuffin and a monetary MacGuffin.

[00:19:31] Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[00:19:33] Oh, boy.

[00:19:36] I do have a central monetary MacGuffin I can use in that.

[00:19:42] But I'm not going to.

[00:19:43] I'm going to use my monetary MacGuffin

[00:19:48] to choose 1991's point break.

[00:19:53] I've seen once and I did see them in the 90s.

[00:19:59] And I'm absolutely looking forward to covering this movie with you.

[00:20:02] Very excited to watch this movie

[00:20:06] and talk about it with you.

[00:20:09] For me, it does take off thief,

[00:20:13] 81's thief Prince of the City, also 81

[00:20:19] and Settence of the Lambs, which I watched recently.

[00:20:23] All right.

[00:20:24] And this takes off Dirty Harry, which is something

[00:20:26] that I was saving for a night in pre-84.

[00:20:30] So this is pre-84 or monetary MacGuffin?

[00:20:34] I guess you you got both.

[00:20:36] That's monetary MacGuffin, not pre-84.

[00:20:38] Because it's 91. Got it.

[00:20:41] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[00:20:43] All right. I'm going to take True Romance,

[00:20:46] second film written by Tarantino on my list,

[00:20:50] not directed by Tarantino.

[00:20:52] This is very interesting because this is actually shaping up

[00:20:54] to be very similar to our first attempt at this.

[00:20:58] But Pulp Fiction is the wild is the big change here.

[00:21:01] This goes into the category of greasy Italian

[00:21:06] and this wipes out a lot.

[00:21:09] And the greasy Italian in this film.

[00:21:14] How do I say this?

[00:21:15] The greasy Italian in this film is not a character you would

[00:21:19] that you'd generally think of.

[00:21:21] It's not an actor you would generally think of as a greasy Italian.

[00:21:24] But his greasiness is called out so profoundly

[00:21:30] in this film that it's hard to miss.

[00:21:35] Not a film that could be made in today's political climate.

[00:21:41] Gary Oldman is

[00:21:45] just giving a rare performance in this film.

[00:21:49] It's a classic Tarantino crime drama.

[00:21:54] But it's interesting because Tarantino is not directing,

[00:21:57] so it kind of is lacking a little bit of the Tarantino sensibility.

[00:22:03] And you have not seen this movie.

[00:22:05] I haven't.

[00:22:06] So I think that this I think you're going to really enjoy this one.

[00:22:10] Looking forward. OK.

[00:22:13] So now you've got a wild card or a pre-84.

[00:22:16] Yeah. And so just to be clear, so you're picking that's a 93.

[00:22:19] So you took away from some of my options, which were

[00:22:24] perfect world, judgment night.

[00:22:28] Perfect world, as I've already mentioned to you prior to this

[00:22:32] was the movie that scandalized me sexually.

[00:22:36] Before that, I had no idea that but stuff was a possibility.

[00:22:41] So it's educational.

[00:22:42] I mean, I was I was in my late teens and I thought I imagined

[00:22:47] everything that you could possibly do. Wow.

[00:22:52] I was man, I just had no idea.

[00:22:54] No, so you're in your late teens and you've never heard the initial BF.

[00:23:01] No, I had it.

[00:23:02] It was the it was that Kevin Costner.

[00:23:06] He was just orally fixated

[00:23:09] in a way that just it was scandalous.

[00:23:14] It was scandalous, especially because the title was Perfect World.

[00:23:17] And you're like, I had no idea what utopia could be.

[00:23:23] No, I was a bit of a prude.

[00:23:24] I think as a young man, I was a wholesome young guy

[00:23:30] who, you know, on occasion tried to act out, but not very successfully.

[00:23:35] It took Kevin Costner to kind of open my eyes

[00:23:39] to the world, not just the eyes.

[00:23:46] All right. All right.

[00:23:49] And let's see here, you took was that me or you?

[00:23:53] I took true romance.

[00:23:55] That was my greasy Italian.

[00:23:56] Yeah, and I was just reading off what was taken away from me.

[00:24:00] Mean Street, Serpa Code, Judgment Night.

[00:24:02] BMX Bandits was one that I was considering.

[00:24:05] Oh, the cold Kidman from 83.

[00:24:11] So this is so I know I have a five and I could potentially use that as my

[00:24:17] creative for if I go to 1975, not real keen on 1975.

[00:24:23] To be honest, five was probably the number that I wanted to roll the lease.

[00:24:27] OK.

[00:24:29] I have some options.

[00:24:30] Kind of depends on what direction we want to go.

[00:24:32] So I'm just holding on to the five, because I'll probably just end up using it

[00:24:35] as my wild card on my next pick will be a pre-84.

[00:24:41] Unfortunately, one of the pre-84s that I really would like to pick

[00:24:44] is in the two categories.

[00:24:46] So this is where I'm a little I'm a little stuck.

[00:24:52] So I am to there is.

[00:24:57] I'm doing it. I'm going to my pre.

[00:25:00] I'm going my pre-84 movie. Oh, no.

[00:25:05] And there is a crime in it.

[00:25:07] Oh, great.

[00:25:09] I doubt you've seen this.

[00:25:11] You don't have to be this person.

[00:25:13] There's no reason why I have not seen this movie.

[00:25:16] I have. This is from 1980.

[00:25:19] The movie is called Hero at Large, starring John Ritter.

[00:25:25] This is 80. Yeah.

[00:25:27] Hero at large.

[00:25:33] This is one I didn't necessarily want to have to do, but I was

[00:25:36] Is this a crime drama?

[00:25:38] No.

[00:25:40] But this it has a crime in it, at least.

[00:25:43] Oh, well, it's it's it.

[00:25:47] Yes, without without the crime, there is the fact that the movie was made a crime.

[00:25:51] Is that what?

[00:25:52] So it's possible.

[00:25:54] Let me put it to you this way.

[00:25:56] This is your quick synopsis.

[00:25:58] All right.

[00:25:58] A struggling actor buying milk

[00:26:02] stops a robbery while wearing a superhero uniform promoting a movie.

[00:26:07] There you go. That's it.

[00:26:10] There's a crime he thwarts.

[00:26:12] I'm looking at.

[00:26:14] Does he stop the crime by tripping over a couch?

[00:26:18] I cannot wait.

[00:26:21] I cannot wait to watch this movie.

[00:26:25] All right.

[00:26:27] There's a there's a trailer in the background right now, and I just saw John

[00:26:31] Ritter in a tub.

[00:26:34] All right. Yeah, you've never heard of this movie, right?

[00:26:36] You know what? I think I have.

[00:26:37] I think I knew that John Ritter starred in a superhero movie at one point,

[00:26:43] but I didn't know the title of this.

[00:26:45] There's a lot of shirtless Ritter in this trailer, by the way.

[00:26:49] When Bert Convy is in this.

[00:26:51] Oh, baby.

[00:26:55] All right.

[00:26:56] It is now my selection.

[00:27:01] We're going to get some listeners going, this is this is the crime movie.

[00:27:05] So you show here's the movies that you could have had

[00:27:08] instead of the movie you just chose.

[00:27:11] You could have had good fellas, maybe the best crime drama ever on film.

[00:27:18] Godfather Part Three, which.

[00:27:22] Might be an interesting watch for us.

[00:27:24] Not going to be this this season, for sure.

[00:27:27] And Memento, which I know that you're a big fan of Memento.

[00:27:31] Yeah. Well, it pushed me to then I would have to go to 1975 for my pre-84.

[00:27:38] And I'd poured over that one.

[00:27:40] And just I mean, there were there's some options, but

[00:27:44] if it was, I mean, I guess I could have also gone with 1976.

[00:27:49] But I just this one was there.

[00:27:53] So we're just sitting there and and I did of all of them.

[00:27:58] This is probably the least cringy, like obviously so.

[00:28:03] OK, I I need to make this this one work.

[00:28:09] I kind of feel like it's on me to select at least a couple good movies

[00:28:14] that people will enjoy.

[00:28:16] What? Because I feel I feel

[00:28:18] like that's a shot directly at me.

[00:28:20] Oh, I wonder why?

[00:28:22] Because you better be careful because

[00:28:25] you I got I got I have something chambered in for 85

[00:28:29] that might that might change the whole thing.

[00:28:33] I feel like you've taken up on yourself to make sure that

[00:28:37] all of the bad movies ever made are represented.

[00:28:41] I mean, and they are underrepresented.

[00:28:43] There's not a lot of people caping for Hero at Large.

[00:28:48] So here's the thing is that first off,

[00:28:51] I do not think Point Break is a bad movie.

[00:28:54] I think it's a little silly, but I don't think it's a bad movie.

[00:28:58] No, I would know that I wasn't taking a shot at the late great Patrick Swayze at all.

[00:29:03] But it feels like maybe you're overcorrecting.

[00:29:05] You're over here with your pulp fictions.

[00:29:07] No, I'm not.

[00:29:08] I'm just thinking historically of like Superman three, for instance,

[00:29:12] or Howard the Duck.

[00:29:17] I mean, the list goes on and on and on.

[00:29:20] All right, it is my turn to select.

[00:29:23] And I'm going to take the movie My Cousin Vinny.

[00:29:31] I'm shocked.

[00:29:32] I thought you were going to use this as your pre-84.

[00:29:35] My cousin Vinny is it's a kind of comedy that

[00:29:39] I don't feel like Hollywood makes anymore.

[00:29:43] I mean, Joe Pesci is an interesting actor in the history of Hollywood.

[00:29:48] It's like, could he ever happen again?

[00:29:53] He's almost a miracle if you think about.

[00:29:58] The miracle of Joe Pesci.

[00:29:59] He was just he was larger than life.

[00:30:03] In this particular one little moment, this early 90s Pesci moment.

[00:30:08] It's like this is one of the best actors in Hollywood.

[00:30:12] And he looks and sounds and acts like Joe Pesci.

[00:30:18] He's legitimately good in this movie.

[00:30:20] And I think this movie holds up.

[00:30:22] I think it's a really funny and interesting crime

[00:30:26] movie that's also a courtroom drama.

[00:30:30] So I'm a big fan of my cousin Vinny.

[00:30:34] I like it.

[00:30:34] I'm excited to watch it again for sure.

[00:30:38] Just really surprised you didn't take advantage of that 48 hours.

[00:30:42] I mean, that's going to be one of those picks I think you're going to look back on.

[00:30:44] It's true.

[00:30:45] I might I might hate myself as soon as we stop recording.

[00:30:50] Wait, have we started recording?

[00:30:53] Steve, it is now your pick.

[00:30:56] All right. So I'm sitting in the fives.

[00:30:59] All my categories are satisfied.

[00:31:02] So I just have to pick any old crime movie and it can be 95, 85, 75, 65.

[00:31:10] So there's an obvious choice here.

[00:31:13] OK. It's

[00:31:18] definitely a crime movie.

[00:31:20] It's one that you and I have an extended history with.

[00:31:25] But in the same same vein as the Pulp Fiction final word,

[00:31:31] there's that concern that we talk about this.

[00:31:34] We may never talk about it again.

[00:31:35] And maybe maybe that's maybe that's fine.

[00:31:38] You know, maybe that's OK.

[00:31:40] But there's a lot.

[00:31:42] And there's a lot of options in 95 that fit on this category.

[00:31:49] And there's a part of me that hears what you're saying

[00:31:55] about my selections that include things like Tango and Cash and Hero at Large.

[00:32:03] Yes, a little bit of snobbery on your part in the sense that you feel like

[00:32:08] you're picking films and I'm just picking throwaway movies.

[00:32:14] So there's a part of me that wants to show you up, prove you wrong.

[00:32:19] And there's another part of me that's like maybe I'm in your head, though.

[00:32:23] Maybe I could lean into this.

[00:32:26] Maybe you're off your game, maybe this whole thing with maybe I didn't

[00:32:31] press record on purpose just to throw you up.

[00:32:35] So I'm going to I'm going to this is I'm going to do kind of my own commentary.

[00:32:40] Like if you're watching a draft, like these are these are the players on the board.

[00:32:44] These are the things that I'm looking at right now.

[00:32:48] I'm looking at heat.

[00:32:52] Yeah, 95.

[00:32:53] Yeah, that's what I would choose if I was in your seat.

[00:32:56] I figured you would. Yeah.

[00:32:58] But that would also mean that we wouldn't be watching virtuosity

[00:33:03] starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Oh, man.

[00:33:09] It would also mean that I won't go to 1985 and watch

[00:33:15] Barry Gordy is the last dragon.

[00:33:18] Oh, man. That one's a good one.

[00:33:23] And there is definitely crime in there.

[00:33:24] I mean, we are talking and salt.

[00:33:27] We're talking. Oh, my gosh.

[00:33:28] And we could actually put that out on Double Dragon, too, for sure.

[00:33:33] Yep. It's Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon from 1985.

[00:33:36] Well, you're not going to hear any criticism

[00:33:39] from me on Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon.

[00:33:43] For what this movie is trying to do, it may do it better than any other movie.

[00:33:48] Yeah, I agree.

[00:33:51] I agree. It's it does exactly what it sets out to do,

[00:33:56] which is not something that, you know, could be said of most movies.

[00:34:02] Yeah, the soundtrack is bulletproof.

[00:34:05] I was just talking about this movie the other day with my wife.

[00:34:08] It was a very one-sided conversation.

[00:34:14] Talking at her while she's driving.

[00:34:18] I think she was she was in the kitchen

[00:34:21] and I was going on about El Debarge and.

[00:34:27] Anyway.

[00:34:31] Oh, great, great choice.

[00:34:32] I take back everything I ever said.

[00:34:37] The really redeemed yourself with this.

[00:34:40] This next movie and this is my last selection.

[00:34:45] So that was your last election, right?

[00:34:46] That was my last election.

[00:34:47] That was my wild card because I satisfied all my categories.

[00:34:51] OK, this this next movie.

[00:34:54] I before here we go.

[00:34:56] I had never heard of before.

[00:34:59] Until I did a little bit at Little Search into 70s crime dramas.

[00:35:06] This is a movie called Mikey and Nikki.

[00:35:09] Have you heard of this?

[00:35:11] No.

[00:35:13] This

[00:35:16] is stars Peter Falk and John Cassavetes.

[00:35:21] Does Bob Balliband in it and Ned Baby.

[00:35:27] And.

[00:35:31] And I've never seen this movie.

[00:35:33] And could have gone with the enforcer, you know.

[00:35:37] I this is the the movie I've chosen.

[00:35:41] Could have gone out while Josie Wales.

[00:35:42] You could have gone.

[00:35:43] Mikey and Nikki, I do believe it would satisfy unlikely partners

[00:35:48] and monetary MacCuffin.

[00:35:50] And you know what?

[00:35:52] Who doesn't want to watch Peter Falk in a serious crime drama?

[00:35:57] Probably like I think of one person.

[00:36:04] So for all for all the things I do, this is very much the things you do.

[00:36:08] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:36:10] I wanted to make sure that I made this work because this is the kind of movie

[00:36:15] that if it was just me at home, no one else around.

[00:36:19] I would be searching for a 70s crime drama

[00:36:23] that I hadn't seen before.

[00:36:24] And I feel like I've seen a lot.

[00:36:26] And so if I stumbled upon Mikey and Nikki with Peter Falk,

[00:36:31] I would think, oh, I'm going to give this a try for sure.

[00:36:34] So not only do I get to watch a movie

[00:36:37] that I would be interested in watching anyway.

[00:36:40] This is this is this is my favorite part of the New York Times

[00:36:45] critique of Mikey and Nikki.

[00:36:48] It's a melodrama about male friendship told in such insistently

[00:36:52] claustrophobic detail that to watch it is to risk an artificially

[00:36:56] induced anxiety attack.

[00:36:57] You just described this podcast.

[00:37:01] They seem to just be carrying on making elaborate actor fuses

[00:37:06] in front of the camera.

[00:37:07] Miss May is a witty, gifted, very intelligent director.

[00:37:11] It took guts for her to attempt to make a film like this, but she failed.

[00:37:16] This sounds right up our alley.

[00:37:24] A spoiler alert, Heather will not be watching this one with me.

[00:37:28] Oh, well, it is about male friendship.

[00:37:32] And it does sound like it's not good.

[00:37:35] So so the fact that it's not good.

[00:37:40] That should make you happy.

[00:37:43] And the fact that it's a 70s crime drama should make me happy.

[00:37:46] Yeah, I think in 76, that's what you got.

[00:37:50] All right.

[00:37:52] That's all brand.

[00:37:53] So let's go through our selections again.

[00:37:58] Steve, you've taken in monetary MacGuffin point break.

[00:38:03] Yes, you took in unlikely partners.

[00:38:10] And Greasy Italian Tango and Cash.

[00:38:15] Correct. You took in dirty cop.

[00:38:18] Shakedown from 1988, which I've not seen.

[00:38:22] And you took in the category of wild card.

[00:38:28] Hero at large.

[00:38:29] That's pre-84 was a hero.

[00:38:31] Oh, and Barry Gordy's the last dragon.

[00:38:34] That's right.

[00:38:35] In which category was that?

[00:38:36] That was wild card.

[00:38:37] Wild card. I got it.

[00:38:40] I took gross point blank in unlikely partners.

[00:38:45] Mikey and Nikki as my pre-84

[00:38:52] Pulp Fiction

[00:38:55] in the categories of dirty cop and monetary MacGuffin.

[00:39:01] True romance in the category of Greasy Italian.

[00:39:05] My cousin, Vinny as my wild card.

[00:39:10] I think we got ourselves a felonies and Fuguesi's Film Fest.

[00:39:15] Steve, you certainly do.

[00:39:17] How do you feel about this selection

[00:39:20] as opposed to previous iterations of this draft?

[00:39:24] This is it's pretty.

[00:39:26] I think this is pretty great because it's very close

[00:39:30] to our first attempt at this, which we were pretty excited about.

[00:39:34] And then did not include Barry Gordy's the last dragon.

[00:39:37] It did not include Barry Gordy's the last dragon.

[00:39:40] It did not include Pulp Fiction.

[00:39:41] It certainly did not include Mikey and Nikki or Hero at large.

[00:39:45] So that's just so it's clear you did this.

[00:39:48] You added the other category to complicate it.

[00:39:52] And and here we are.

[00:39:54] And I think it's interesting.

[00:39:56] We we talked about adding a category that forces us to go early

[00:40:00] because we knew that there was a lot of like really interesting

[00:40:05] seventies and early eighties crime dramas.

[00:40:08] And what we came up with was Mikey and Nikki and Hero at large.

[00:40:16] We added this category to add a little bit of old school flavor

[00:40:20] and and we shat the bed.

[00:40:23] And look,

[00:40:27] neither of us have seen Mikey and Nikki.

[00:40:29] It is possible that the New York Times was just wrong.

[00:40:32] And neither of us have seen Hero at large.

[00:40:37] So how many of these movies are you watching for the first time?

[00:40:40] Shakedown.

[00:40:41] I definitely have not seen Hero at large.

[00:40:44] Shakedown.

[00:40:45] I have I have not my Nikki.

[00:40:48] I've not seen Point Break in a very long time.

[00:40:51] OK, it will be not the first time.

[00:40:53] But it'll feel like it.

[00:40:55] It'll feel like it.

[00:40:56] I mean, I've got a few not fond memories of my first watch.

[00:41:02] But I'm in a different place in my life, Steve.

[00:41:04] Yeah, I think you're going to enjoy it quite a bit.

[00:41:08] It's nice to have at least some

[00:41:09] buce representation in this selection.

[00:41:13] I feel like my leadership of.

[00:41:17] This podcast.

[00:41:19] Is exhibit a on why we should no longer elect men to office.

[00:41:24] OK, I feel like I failed at every

[00:41:29] at every stage of planning this season.

[00:41:35] And I would like to apologize yet again for my failure.

[00:41:40] I just can't good conscience make you.

[00:41:43] Watch Mikey and Nikki.

[00:41:50] This is a big moment, listeners.

[00:41:52] I just I'm hoping that we didn't lose any already

[00:41:55] because of the original Mikey and Nikki pick.

[00:41:59] But this me a cop was pretty.

[00:42:01] This is this is a big moment.

[00:42:02] I think I think Anthony's apologized three times in his life.

[00:42:07] Never to me.

[00:42:08] And I didn't mean it twice.

[00:42:10] Right.

[00:42:11] This is the first time I've done it and actually meant it.

[00:42:13] The other two times were just because I thought

[00:42:15] I could manipulate the person who.

[00:42:17] Yeah, I was done in kind of a sing songy, sarcastic way.

[00:42:25] So this movie is just it's a disaster.

[00:42:30] I I had to watch it in like four sittings.

[00:42:34] But you actually went through the whole thing.

[00:42:35] I went through the whole thing.

[00:42:36] And I by the end of it, I was kind of like,

[00:42:41] that that's kind of interesting.

[00:42:46] But there is at least an hour and a half

[00:42:49] of just unwatchable dreck.

[00:42:52] That's like a length of a movie.

[00:42:55] And I don't think it necessarily.

[00:43:01] Yeah, that's the yes.

[00:43:03] That's that's what I'm saying.

[00:43:05] And so embedded in this movie is a full bad movie.

[00:43:10] You know something.

[00:43:15] That would be a really great way to say that, yes.

[00:43:20] So it has story problems.

[00:43:23] It has writing problems.

[00:43:26] But most prominent

[00:43:29] is that the acting in this movie,

[00:43:32] the acting in this movie is just really hard to watch.

[00:43:36] And it's it's like you're watching

[00:43:39] two people who are completely crazy in two different ways.

[00:43:43] Two of your buddies said, hey, we're going to do mushrooms.

[00:43:45] Can you just watch us try to interact?

[00:43:49] One of them know one of them is doing mushrooms.

[00:43:51] And the other one is like speaking in tongues.

[00:43:55] The other ones got the Holy Ghost.

[00:43:56] So I feel like

[00:43:59] you might.

[00:44:02] I mean, you might want to have a look at this.

[00:44:07] Now, I'm not.

[00:44:08] But I talk about it.

[00:44:09] I don't I don't think I want I want to give you the out.

[00:44:12] Like I want to give you the opportunity to like say,

[00:44:15] yeah, this is crazy.

[00:44:16] I'm going away.

[00:44:18] I am running away from my screen at this point.

[00:44:21] I don't want to force you to watch it.

[00:44:23] But I wonder if this is one of those movies where it's like,

[00:44:27] I can't look away.

[00:44:29] This is like a train wreck and I can't really look away.

[00:44:32] So I don't know how you'll receive this movie.

[00:44:36] But I don't want to probably won't receive this movie.

[00:44:39] But I mean,

[00:44:42] I mean, I won't say I won't say definitive never.

[00:44:45] But I'm not I'm not going to go out of my

[00:44:49] are we replacing this movie?

[00:44:50] Yes, we are replacing this movie.

[00:44:52] And I have a suggestion.

[00:44:55] This is the most simple and most elegant solution

[00:44:59] to the problem that I created.

[00:45:01] I would like to suggest to you, Steve, that we

[00:45:05] yes, choose a different movie in 1976.

[00:45:08] It's actually the movie that won best picture in 1976.

[00:45:11] It's actually the movie that is quoted at the beginning of every one of our podcasts.

[00:45:16] It is the movie Rocky.

[00:45:19] And I should have taken it

[00:45:22] a long time ago.

[00:45:23] I mean, I don't know why I didn't.

[00:45:24] And I think that the reason why is like,

[00:45:26] wait a second, isn't this a sports movie?

[00:45:28] And I would say to you, look a little bit closer.

[00:45:32] Look a little bit closer.

[00:45:34] And I have contended that this is that Rocky is at its core love story.

[00:45:39] It's yes, it's a love story that is set

[00:45:44] around a crime family in Philadelphia.

[00:45:49] Yeah, the boxing the boxing in this movie is tertiary at best.

[00:45:54] Right. The action scenes attest to that in right in Rocky.

[00:46:00] Yes. Well, and also you could argue that the the climactic boxing scene.

[00:46:07] And here we are already reviewing the movie.

[00:46:10] You could argue that the climactic boxing scene really doesn't serve so much

[00:46:13] as a climactic ending to a sports movie, but as a opportunity

[00:46:17] to provide a metaphor for everything that's led up to this one.

[00:46:20] Yeah. And that's all I'll say about that.

[00:46:23] I don't. Yeah, don't say anything else.

[00:46:25] I do have a few.

[00:46:26] I do have a sense of what the movie is trying to convey.

[00:46:30] I think it works pretty well with our

[00:46:33] felonies and Fugazi's theme, even though it is not traditionally thought of

[00:46:38] as a crime drama.

[00:46:40] I mean, we were moving forward with the hero at large and the last dragon.

[00:46:45] So Rocky should at least get a nod.

[00:46:50] All right. So I think that we've solved that.

[00:46:53] And I don't I'm not saying that this is going to work.

[00:46:57] We could be horrible, you know, this this season could be our worst yet.

[00:47:02] But I'm willing to try to live.

[00:47:04] I try to live like every show is our worst and every season is potentially

[00:47:08] and because I am fully committed to my toxic masculinity,

[00:47:13] I am prepared to go down.

[00:48:22] Oh, oh.

[00:48:34] And a cocoon of horror.